It's 5:30am in California. As I sit here unable to sleep, I am reminded of my night in Abu Dhabi and how after 3 hours of sleep, my internal clock said I slept all night. I'm experiencing the same feeling.
This year, there is no traditional meal for my family. Sitting in a motel room, there will be no mashed potatoes, no Quorn veggie roast or stuffing. Visiting my daughter in her new home is all I need. I never held a great deal of attachment to holidays anyway.
This holiday, during this very early morning with very little sleep, has my heart twisting with sadness. I don't know why yet, but I'm sure it has to do with all these feelings and thoughts still pouring through my mind from India.
This morning I read a post from a Peace Corps volunteer on NPR. When she cried over water, I understood. She spoke for my heart.
"At first, I cried with happiness when I saw rain after a five-month dry season. It cooled down the savannah and filled the buckets I use to fetch water from the community water spigot. But I also cried real tears when it rained almost every day; I couldn't charge my phone via solar charger, severing my tenuous connection back home for a short while."
I am grateful for so much this year. My list would never be complete.
-My husband, my daughter, my pups and kitties who make my heart light up with their unconditional love, my mother who teaches me patience, my dear friends. -My dog, Charlie, rolling on the leaves with his tennis ball.
-Weekly meditation with a monk.
-Sunday sangha where I am welcomed, fed and join in bhajans regardless of how much time has passed since I was last there.
-The luxury of choosing what to eat and buy to eat.
-Clean water. You know what? I had to remind myself last night I could drink the water at this hotel because last time I was at a guest house I could not. How amazing is that!
-Warmth. Warm clothes, heater, fireplace, you name it. I have a means of being warm where others do not.
-To have people to love and those who love me back. Two sleepy heads snooze, one to my left and to my right. I'm the luckiest girl alive.
