I have these past life memories that I see as a string of events. I have no idea how they connect or what sequence they are in. That is until I had a glimpse today.
In one of my lives, I was a Buddhist monk and tortured to death, dying in a prison cell. In my last life, I was not a great person. In fact, to be honest, I kind of sucked. I was unkind and schemed. I wondered how I could fall from being a monk (or in other lives where I might say I was enlightened) to a person motivated by causing other people pain.
Today, I could see how my last memories effected my soul. Being a monk, my final experiences in that life were full of pain and I witnessed the dark side of humanity. Either that experience brought me so far into darkness that I became as low as my captures in a sense for my life as the unkind man, or I chose to experience the other side if the coin - to know what darkness was like and find the humanity in each person.
In this life, I was born into a painful childhood where I once again was surrounded by the darkness of the human experience. Since I was a preteen, I always believed my life was meant to be as it was - to learn something from it. As I got older, I became hyper focused on compassion. I knew my present life is here to teach me (and remind me) to have compassion for all beings.
Every moment of our life, each person, is here for us to learn and grow (even the ugly moments). Each lifetime is another opportunity to seek an understanding of a concept or feeling.
I believe my last life was my bridge for this one. To learn fully and deeply the ability to have loving kindness and compassion. Without it, I could not be who I am today. I could not have been the 13 year old child who forgave her father. The 38 year old woman who tries to forgive each hurtful moment as quickly as possible.
