Been feeling out of it. Spent a week pretty much in bed. Started feeling fatigued a week ago and then BOOM! Woke up one morning not able to make it out of bed. It took a day's rest to get up and do a few things. Then slept for another twelve hours.
Gave blood for the third time today. On my bhakti path, trying to find the love and joy in me and everything, has once again come up short this week. I am grateful to have the opportunity to have a blood test and for the lime green tape used to cover up my vein that was prodded. I am having difficulty finding the appreciation for the prick and the bruises on my arm, however. I'm thinking by now, though, that we will be creating another problem, perhaps blood loss due to doctor denial.
Doctors haven't figured out what is going on with my body this time. I seem to always be the mysterious patient. So far my potassium is low, but not low enough for doctors to be convinced that I have every single symptom of potassium deficiency (which I do). Since the doctors don't like that thought, they keep searching for another problem. Meanwhile, I'm told to eat more bananas. Which I do. Along with my new favorite supplement, moringa. This plant has like three times the amount of potassium as a banana and is this superfood that is chock full of nutrients. It's a tree whose leaves are high in B12, iron, calcium and more. They are using it in third world countries where malnutrition is prevalent. I became over the past few days the greatest fan of moringa. I even ordered a tree and ten seeds. It's tropical and I can't possibly keep it at my house with the minimal sunlight streaming in through our windows, or keep it alive outside past October since it only like weather 60 degrees or higher. For now though, I dream of walking over to my tree and eating leaves off of it like a koala bear snacks in the trees in Australia.
But keeping up with the theme of appreciation, I do have much to be grateful for. A husband who drove me to the doctor's and made me dinner. A daughter who massaged my hands when they were in terrible pain. And a surprising moment-Mud Season by Ellen Stimson. This delightful book made it's way into my hands to be consumed in a mere two days in between naps. It was such a great mental break reading about this one woman pursuing her dream and moving to Vermont (along with the ups and downs and hilarious moments sprinkled along the way). But now, I really want to know what happened to her quaint country store!
Other people's stories can be such a relief from our own lives. Today, I thank Ellen Stimson, for a few hours mental break from dealing with fatigue, achy bones and a mind that wants to create, while its body just needs a rest.
