The only time I had been around a group of Hare Krishnas was passing by a celebration on Toronto Island one year when we were vacationing. I remember the sounds of the mantras, the food everywhere, and the bright vibrant wardrobe of the participants. It formed the most positive memory for me.
When the evening was slowing winding down, it was time for announcements. The gentleman from earlier in the evening introduced us to the Krishna followers. Matthew was given a Gita of his own and kudos for being the first new devotee who danced their first time.
I reached out to my yoga teacher to find out about the celebration. He said it happened every Friday. After I shared the news, Matthew happily said, "I'm going! Do you want to go?"
We were given different start times. One said 6:30pm, while the other said 7pm. We aimed to arrive around 6:30pm in hopes of not interupting anything. When we arrived, only 4 other cars were in the lot. We nervously sat in my husband's red hatchback. That's what two ambiverts who are incredibly shy do. We were afraid to leave the car. We felt like we were crashing someones party. By 6:50pm we both got up the gumption to leave the car and head inside. A few more cars had made their way into the lot.
We were given different start times. One said 6:30pm, while the other said 7pm. We aimed to arrive around 6:30pm in hopes of not interupting anything. When we arrived, only 4 other cars were in the lot. We nervously sat in my husband's red hatchback. That's what two ambiverts who are incredibly shy do. We were afraid to leave the car. We felt like we were crashing someones party. By 6:50pm we both got up the gumption to leave the car and head inside. A few more cars had made their way into the lot.
We walked inside and took off our shoes in the little room to the left of the temple entrance. We headed upstairs where a small group was around deities chanting and moving a silver plate with candles clockwise and then counter clockwise. They passed the plate off to one another doing this for almost a half hour. The plate eventually made its way over to us. We were sitting in a row of chairs off to the sidelines. The gentleman looked at us with a big smile over his face. There was some money on the plate, so Matthew and I not knowing what to do, looked at it and put money on the plate. The nice man said "No, no." But since we looked confused, he walked away. Growing up Catholic, we thought this was the appropriate action.
A few days earlier my teacher said that he would be there to guide my husband through the night, but we had yet to see him. However, another man approached us, introducing himself. "Are you Matthew and Susan? Your teacher mentioned you would be here tonight. Welcome! We are running late setting up." After him, another man, and yet another, came over to greet us. Around us, children were lovingly running around the temple showing each other games, phones and talking with one another. "I brought my iPhone," one child said to another.
As little chairs for the floor were set up, we were told that the men sit to the right and the women to the left. Shortly after we sat down, people filled the room, and mantras began to be sung. A table that was being worked on with deities, flowers and incense had been completed. Bhagavad Gita's were handed out, and a gentleman arrived (my guess is that he was the priest) to start the Gita discussion and Q&A. He sat in a low chair with a small table in front of him, where he placed his laptop with notes.
We read Slokah 17:11 (which I mentioned in my previous post). He walked us through saying it in Sanskrit and then in English. This theme went perfectly with my non-attachment theme for this week, but also my new found Bhakti Path. Honor and love God without asking for anything in return. The speaker used stories we could all relate to. He told us it was equally as important to honor and respect each other as it was to honor and respect our guru. In the Gita, Krisha, a manifestation of God, says how he is in everything and everyone. This was a beautiful reminder to continue to see everything through God's eyes. To see God in everything, everywhere, and at every moment.
After the Gita discussion, the floor was cleared with the men and women staying on their respected sides. The kirtan began. Kirtans are a call-and-response of mantras sung. The men and children began playing pakhawaj drums (long two sided drums) and kartals (small hand-sized symbols decorated with orange fabric flowing from them. The men and women started to dance. They moved back and forth singing the mantras, clapping. Tentative at first, I happily clapped my hands. Next, I sang back Hare Krishna. Since I have to ability to dance in a choreographed fashion, I avoided the dance movement, but instead swayed slightly back and forth. As I continued to open my heart and let go of my fear, I felt myself swell with love. A big smile crossed my face. On the other side of the room, Matthew had joined a group of men dancing in a circle. I laughed to myself as it reminded me of the dance circle my Albanian family did at weddings and my Irish friends did at celebrations. Last time Matthew joined a circle to dance was at a Jewish-Chinese wedding his friend had in Toronto long ago. He beamed with joy.
A plate of candles made its way around the room. I watched the women near me move their hands from the flame to their third eye. It reminded me of the fire cleansing that is done with the Munay Ki Rites, a practice of the shamans of the Andes Mountains. Twice my hands scooped the essence of the flame to my forehead. Next, a little girl happily went around the women's side with a fuchsia carnation scented with what smelled like jasmine. We all took turns inhaling deeply.
After the kirtan was over, the room slowly bowed to the deities on the table. I looked across the room to Matthew. He bowed as well. I felt conflicted to bow as I did not know who I was bowing to. Certainly Krishna was on the table. I felt once again like I was crashing someones party and it would be dishonorable to bow not knowing what I was bowing too. And then I heard my friend Arabella's voice in my head.
A few years ago, she received a message for me. In this message, it was to rectify my relationship with God. To go to him like a child and supplicate myself to him. So, I bowed. I brought my body down, hands on floor and paused, moving my body into a version of the yoga asana, extended Child's Pose. I felt myself move into a deep, utter peace. The inner conflict was gone. I was expressing my need to honor God.
When the evening was slowing winding down, it was time for announcements. The gentleman from earlier in the evening introduced us to the Krishna followers. Matthew was given a Gita of his own and kudos for being the first new devotee who danced their first time.
We had to leave before meals were eaten to pick up my daughter. We were not allowed to leave without taking home enormous plates of Indian food prepared by the group. Our plates were piled high while one of the women told me "You have to eat the food. It is God's food. You have to feed yourself, so you feed God. I hope it's not too spicy for you."
As we left, Matthew said "I want to go again next week."
To seal the cosmic miracle moment, another member introduced himself as we were leaving. He said he would love to have a kirtan at the studio. I told him how we love kirtans and PremaHara was coming to play in April. He said joyously "I know them! I may have to come." There are never coincidences.
I read online when we got home that Hare Krishna's path is Bhakti Yoga, the path of devotion. With the vegetarian food cooked with love, the deities display filled with its incense, flowers and colors, with the chanting of God's name to music, I knew I was led to another extraordinary moment on my Bhakti path.
