When it comes to meditating on
compassion for others, we often think of the Metta Meditation, also
known as Loving Kindness Meditation. In this meditation, we focus one
by one on a respected person we know, a loved one, a neutral person
we do not know well, and a person that challenges us. In our
meditation, we focus on sending that person loving, compassionate
thoughts and energy. Mantras used are “May you be happy. May you be
well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease.” The object
of the words changes as you move through the meditation.
Similarly, the mantra Lokah Samastah
Sukhino Bhavantu - “May all beings everywhere be happy and
free, and may the thoughts, words and actions of my own life
contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for
all,” does the same by wishing all beings everywhere happiness and
peace. This mantra can also be used in meditation.
In Wednesday's meditation class, we
practiced another compassionate inducing meditation – Tonglen. In
Tonglen, we receive and send loving-kindness. This practice, used in
Tibetan Buddhism and practiced by His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, taps
into the bodhicitta (the enlightened mind).
Tonglen can seem like burning in a fire
opposed to the light feeling that arises in a typical Loving Kindness
Meditation. The practice takes on the suffering of ourselves and
others to transform it into something beautifully powerful. To
practice one moves through the following steps:
- Begin by focusing on the breath, bringing all mindfulness to the breath
- Feel comfortable in the space you are in, feeling protected and safe
- Bring your awareness to your bodhicitta (the enlightened mind) – you do not need to understand what it is, but become aware of a lightness that lives inside of you, aware and wise beyond your rational mind. Find peace in this feeling.
- Next breathe in smoke or darkness and exhale light and joy. You become a recycling machine for converting energy.
- You then focus on yourself. Feel any painful memories or emotions you have. As you exhale, you send yourself compassion.
- Then move your thoughts to someone you feel challenged by, past or present. Breathe in knowing they suffer. Exhale sending them compassion and love. You can even, without too much thought, think of what they need not to suffer, and exhale sending it to them.
- You may move onto doing this for several others if you choose.
- Next, you bring your awareness back to your breath until your mind fills with thoughts.
- Finally, you take deep refreshing, cleansing breaths in and out.
Like other meditations, the words and practice can vary, but the concept is the same. Transforming pain to loving, compassion. Many people find difficulty in “praying” for those that hurt them. Instead, they would rather that person feel pain and suffering. However, pain only begets pain whereas love begets love.
This healing technique is in direct
contradiction to what many energy healers would practice. Many
healers I know would avoid “taking on” the pain of others. They
would do a ritual to protect themselves from absorbing the “stuff”
others carry with them.
Several years ago, I met such a
practitioner who literally yelled at me for the way I did my Reiki
sessions. Because of my empathic nature, I can feel the hurt in
others. I would draw this out of them through me and then visualize
myself putting it into a magical trashcan in the stars where the
universe could recycle it for me. I was told this was wrong. I needed
to protect myself. Needless to say, I never listened.
Once at a festival in southern York
County, a woman came to me to my tent where I was offering Reiki.
“Would you do Reiki on me?” she asked desperately.
“Yes,” I replied.
“Are you sure? Would you do Reiki for
me?” she asked again.
“Of course!”
“Feel me first and tell me,” she
said implying I tune into her energy. It was intense, but that didn't
mean anything to me in terms of declining. It was her energy.
Every person is different.
After telling her yes once more, she
told me how she had a near death experience that made her energy very
intense. She was once a “regular” person and now could
communicate with the other side and angels. A booth just yards from
where I was at the festival had declined her because of how her
energy felt.
I once had a teacher, who despite
folklore, vigorously tapped tingshas together. Tingshas should only
be struck three times a day between the first day of Autumn and the
last day of winter or else you would have the wrath of the King of
the Nagas on you for having awoken him from his slumber. The liberal
teacher rung the tingshas over and over again without a care saying
“I believe in the intention. If I believe nothing will happen to
me, nothing will.” I loved my liberal teacher.
What I love is that while doing the
Tonglen Meditation you are defying all the rules. That's the
rebellious part of me. You are holding the belief that while you are
bringing in the suffering of others, you have the ability to help
transform their suffering into joy. You have the ability to transform
your own pain into something beautiful. The intention of
transformation pulls you through.
As a healer, I have to remember that
healing others and not taking care of myself is a pitfall. I could so
easily take on the pain of others and healing them for a personal
gratification. Instead, I have to remember that I am also a pebble
tossed into the river. I must also allow myself time to heal and
transform. Getting tied to the outcome of whether I helped or not, is
not the goal. Whether I helped them transcend pain or get a hug, is
not what it is all about. That's the side benefit. The true
accomplishment comes to wanting to heal someone who has hurt me,
rather than harm them. To love myself enough to want to love myself,
instead of beating myself up in my mind. That is the power of
Tonglen. To walk through the fire of hate and find love instead.