Guruji sat in a simple folding chair wearing a white tunic, white pants, white socks, and mala beads around his right wrist and neck. Black and grey hair rested on his shoulders. He shared with us that his guru was Yug Purush Mahamandeleshwar Swami Paramanand Giri Ji Maharaj, a Self-Realized Guru of this present era, initiated into Sainthood.
The conversation turned to the sound "Om" (also sounded and sometimes spelled "Aum.") He said many religions share this sound. Shalom. Amen. And with Buddhists and Hindus, Om. The sound, he explained, is said to be the first sound of the universe. If you look on YouTube, you can find videos of the sound emanating in the vastness of space. We chanted Om, first in its entirety. Next we chanted section by section to feel where the sound resonated in the body. Through "Ah," "Oh," "Mm," and silence. the fourth sound, we could feel a stillness come over every one of us. The shy room grew even more quiet.
As we were instructed to lay on the floor to continue the chanting, I took a quick sip of my tea, to which I found my teacher a combination of Saturn and gentle. "No drinking beverages while we move through exercises. No coffee." While I had my legs focused to the opposite wall, Guruji reminded us only our heads were to face in his direction. He softened the instructions with "how else then may I give you my blessings?" I was then told to remove the blanket from under my head.
My ego swelled with anger, thinking about how I should leave. I was not drinking coffee. His assumption was incorrect. I reminded myself I was to be here and should leave my ego with my shoes. He was educating me on his traditions and beliefs. My American mind wanted too much flexibility. When had I not assumed incorrectly? Even in his incorrect assessment, I was sure that tea was also not permitted as it is considered a stimulant, as well. I knew better than to put my feet in his direction, and how my head should be facing him. However, when I saw others doing it, I thought it was alright, abandoning a respect to a teacher. During break, I went downstairs to toss my tea and instead add water. I breathed through my initial reaction, feeling saddened that I allowed my ego to overcome my intention. I remembered how when people have even a momentary sad or angry thought, how it hangs like a cloud around the space they are or were in. I paused for a moment visualizing myself cleaning up after my own negative clouds.
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After break, we discussed the bodies. We have our physical body, our Life force body, the Mental body, the Wisdom body, and the Bliss body. These are identified as Koshas, or sheaths, as written in the Upanishads by yogic sages over 3,000 years ago. Depending on the type of yoga, there are other bodies as well, but are not referenced as koshas. Other bodies include the Pranic body, the Subtle body.
Guruji then led us into the healing process of Chidshakti Prakriya which is meant to eliminate physical, emotion and mental disharmony and disease. We started the practice with intense, yet subtle movements of the neck, followed by moving fingers and hands. Next, adding intentionally intense breath focused on the exhale, we moved hands, arms and torso. We built to faster paced physical movements such as interlacing hands behind the back and with every inhale opening the chest and with every exhale folding the body, head reaching to the knees and center. Some of the pranayama (breath work) and asanas we did, I recognized from my time studying with my yoga instructor. Other's reminded me of my practices in Kundalini Yoga classes. Fortunately for us, he did not have us practice these for five or ten minutes at a time. He was generous with breaks.
We then sat, without movement in a modified lotus pose, hands in Gyan mudra (index and thumb together, back of hand resting on the knees). We were told many times before and at the beginning of this meditation to not move. If we moved, any progress we made in reaching our "bliss body" would be lost to the distraction of the physical body. We were to witness what we saw in our third eye, our mind, our body, but not to judge or dismiss.
The heat in the room was overwhelming from the physical asanas and with now just the breath, I felt like I was sitting in a sauna. The breath of the room was fast paced and I raced to keep up with it. By nature, I am a very slow breather. An eternity could go by before I would need to breath again when I was in a relaxed state. I struggled to keep the breath going, keep my focus off my legs going numb, keeping my mula bandha locked (tightening the buttocks and lifting the pelvic floor). I was not at first feeling like a witness, but an active participant in getting my body to be where it needed to be, while he encouraged us on. I felt Guruji's presence walking around the room, soon near me.
A cold, wet, clothed stick tapped my forehead over and over again as Guruji said "Good" and "Release, let it go." An unidentifiable familiar scent entered my nose. I felt as if that stick went through my third eye, opening it up beyond any experience I've had before. My breath changed. Instead of a quick inhale and exhale, my breath took on a life of its own. I inhaled and then exhaled three times. Slowly, I felt my breath then slow down to my meditative breath with little inhale and exhale. The sounds of the room were alive with variance. Tears. Deep Breathing. Silence. We were all on our own personal journeys. Soon, we were all quiet. By then, however, I was on a journey out of my body. No longer was my essence connected to that person sitting on the floor, but rather several inches above following a kaleidoscope of images in my mind's eye.
Diluted purple drops fell onto the canvas of my mind, over and over again. Sometimes it revealed nothing more. Other times, eyes looked at me. Just one eye. An eye of a boar. Eye of a man. Eye of a woman. Eye of a wolf. An unidentifiable eye. Each time it looked at me without judgement, just present.
I found myself transcendeding that state into a blissful state of nothingness, yet pure joy. White light surrounded me. As I felt myself pulled higher and higher up, the state held, if for only moments until my mind shifted back to "am I leaning to the right side?" "Is my right hand about to fall off my lap?" Recognizing the thoughts, I then moved back up towards bliss for a second here and there before it was gone altogether.
My thoughts made their way slowly back to the body where I realized my right leg was indeed asleep. Guruji then asked us to lie on our belly with our knee bent, hugging and releasing what was left to Mother Earth. I did so willingly, wiggled my toes, while butterflies ran up from my toes to my knee, blood rushing through.
As I sat up, I saw yellow dots of sandalwood painted from the stick on the foreheads of the students around me. Guruji said we were in practice for one hour and twenty minutes, fifty of which, we were in meditation. I had not meditated for that long in who knows how long, let alone sat without movement. He invited us to do this practice again, to keep our spiritual minds active through reading and other experiential journeys. We were asked not to go back to the rat race again, loosing what we gained today.
I made my way home to see my husband at work in the garden. My daughter giving me an early Mother's Day gift, words of gratitude for her childhood. My dogs greeted me hello. It was a beautiful day.
