Week Five on the Bhakti Path: She Let Go

For the past three weeks, I have neglected to write about my path. So much has happened, but I couldn't find myself sharing. Sometimes, we need to internalize changes within ourselves before we are able to express them. Even now, I am short on words. 

Nursing a sinus infection and other cold we were passing around a work, made me go inside. My natural state when I get sick is to first get cranky, then feel sick and then be so lethargic it's hard to do anything. During this time, I was forced to see the side of me that was "still," and unable to find the love, the God in everything.

As my body grew sick, so did my mind. Negative thoughts about myself crept in. Inability to find patience with others colored my mind. And my thoughts about the winter that seemed would never end, wasn't happy either.

So, I accepted it. Instead of criticizing myself for not doing a better job, I let go. I let go of the intolerance I had for my own thoughts. I let go of needing to have energy to do everything. I let go of my conflicts. I just let go. And then, in a yoga teacher training last weekend, I heard the following poem:

‘She Let Go’ a Poem by Rev. Safire Rose

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.  She let go of the judgments.  She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.  She let go of the committee of indecision within her.  She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

Photo courtesy of reloveplanet.com

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go.  She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go.  She let go of all of the memories that held her back.  She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.  She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

And sometimes, that's just what you have to do.